Every first Monday of each month, our interdisciplinary team comes together to connect and learn from one another, under the guidance of CFC founder, Dr. Tina Payne Bryson—New York Times best-selling author of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline.
This month, we dedicated time to reflect on what it means to live in our current “VUCA” times: a period marked by volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity. Moments like these can leave us feeling depleted and overwhelmed. Much of this is because our brains, by nature, thrive on predictability and certainty. When things feel stable and clear, our nervous systems stay regulated, allowing us to think clearly, make decisions, and respond with flexibility.
But in times of VUCA, our brains are constantly navigating a sea of uncertainty, and that instability affects us on every level—physically, emotionally, and cognitively. The question is: how do we cope when the world feels out of control? How do we maintain calm, clarity, and resilience in the face of all this? How do we show up for ourselves and others?
One of the most powerful things we can understand in these times, according to Dr. Bryson, is that we are held captive by one another’s nervous systems. As social creatures, we are deeply interconnected—not just through words or actions, but through the way our nervous systems synchronize.
This means that if you’re a child and your parents are regulated—meaning they’ve taken the steps to monitor their internal states and calm their nervous system and stay grounded—that can help you feel more settled, even in chaotic situations. A parent who is regulated provides the steady presence that a child can rely on, offering a sense of safety and security.
On the flip side, if a parent is already stressed or on the edge, a child’s behavior—whether it's tantrums, emotional outbursts, or seeking attention—can push that parent further into a heightened state. Both the parent and the child’s nervous systems may start mirroring each other, escalating into a cycle of dysregulation where neither can stay calm or flexible.
This is where the concept of co-regulation becomes critical. The ability to pause and monitor our own internal state is essential. Co-regulation happens when one person’s calm and regulated state helps to stabilize another’s nervous system. However, this requires a level of self-awareness and self-regulation, especially in the face of stress. If we don’t take the time to check in with our own internal state, we can quickly lose our ability to respond thoughtfully and instead react impulsively, becoming stuck in a high-stress mode.
But here’s the good news: we can change the pattern. By pausing and monitoring our own state, we can begin to shift from reaction to regulation. This is where we can invite flexibility, creativity, and calm into our relationships. It’s how we can remain adaptive, energized, and thoughtful, even in times of uncertainty.
It’s important to remember that this looks different for each person—what helps one individual calm their nervous system may not work for another. Some might need to go for a walk to reset, others might need to practice deep breathing, or take time for reflection through journaling. What’s key is identifying what works for you and taking the time to intentionally implement those practices when you need them most.
Take a moment to consider what you and your nervous system need right now. In the image below are some ideas from our team, but stay tuned for our next blog post which will include even more ideas to consider!
