By Ayla Dillard
Earlier this month, we explored the realities of living in a VUCA world—volatility, uncertainty, complexity, and ambiguity—and how these forces can dys-regulate our nervous systems, pulling us into cycles of stress and reactivity.
During our monthly all-team meeting, we delved into the power of co-regulation, drawing on insight from our Founder (Dr. Tina Payne Bryson) that our interconnected nervous systems can either amplify chaos or foster calm, especially in caregiver-child dynamics. The good news is that by pausing and monitoring our own state, we can begin to shift from reaction to regulation. This is where we can invite flexibility, creativity, and calm into our relationships. And it’s how we can remain adaptive, energized, and thoughtful, even in times of uncertainty. (Read the full blog post here.)
But how do we self-regulate? It’s important to remember that this looks different for each person—what’s key is identifying what works for you and taking the time to intentionally implement those practices when you need them most.
Take a moment to consider what you and your nervous system need right now. Because we all need support sometimes and our hope is that you’ll give yourself permission to pause during hard times and ask, “What do I need right now in this moment?” Consider what’s available to you, and then fill your cup.
And, encourage others to do the same. We’re all in this together. In fact, our team brainstormed some practical, in-the-moment strategies to help you reclaim calm when dys-regulation strikes.
Ask for a hug
Eat something sour
Smile
Talk to a friend
Heel drops
Stretch
Take time to be alone
Breathwork
Find some time to cry
Drink a cold drink
Long slow nasal exhale
Read for 10 minutes
Visually scan environment and rest your eyes on an object you’re drawn to
Yawning
Name what you’re feeling
Pretend your a tree
Extended exhales
Feel your connection to the ground
Ask, “can we slow down for a second?”
Notice and relax the back of your tongue
Listen to EMDR-inspired binaural beats
Mindfulness activities (walking outside)
Think about pets or look at pictures of pets
Practice “the pause”
4-7-8 breathing
Internal tracking and narrating
Resourcing imagery
Be nice to yourself
Turn on a favorite song
Audible SIGH
Fake laughing (moves energy)
Say to yourself, “this is a not a thing”
Give a hug
Read Mary Oliver’s poem, “I Worried”
Listen to music
Laugh
Ask for help
Take a mindful walk outside
Play catch with a dog
“voo-ing” aka humming
Step Outside
Play with gravity on a yoga ball
Splash cold water on your face
Walk out of your current room—deep breaths—walk back in
Have a snack or chew gum
“Box breathing” (breathe in for 4, hold for 4, breathe our for 4, hold or 4, repeat)
Focus on a tree
Stroke your arms gently
Diffuse a situation with humor and surprise— “Dude!….” or “Bro!…”
Rub hands together
Positive self talk
Notice I am holding my breath
Focus on 5 things I can see, feel, smell, etc.
See the opportunity
Ask yourself, “Why am I here? What is my purpose? What is possible?”
Close eyes and envision an ocean wave
Lean against a wall
Repeat: “I am safe. I’m okay. I can do hard things.”
Cute dog videos
Take a power nap
Use a favorite fidget toy
Look at a plant or tree
Take a sip of water
Offer yourself soothing touch, like rubbing a shoulder
Open the Calm App or Headspace App
Wrap yourself in a cozy blanket
Dance
Twist and shake your wrists
Feel your feet connected to the ground
Extended exhales
Act silly or have a big unexpected reaction
Aroma therapy
Complete a quick word search
Listen to an audio book
Wiggle/dance
Tense and relax muscles
play with a “Nee Doh” cube
Long slow nasal exhale
Visualization: see yourself in a calm state
drink warm tea
(Visualization) remember there is ALWAYS a way through the stress
Look at trees that sway
Go for a drive and sing VERY loudly
Reading—keep a good book closeby
Feel the ground under your feet
Play regulating music or a favorite song
Walk to downward dog and open up to a sun salutation 2-5 times
As a final note, remember that none of us are alone in navigating these challenging times. Indeed, connecting with others is protective. We witnessed this ourselves during our meeting. At the start, after reviewing the challenges of this moment, the room felt still and heavy. But by the end, after our team connected and collaborated with one another, and shared ideas, the room felt energized, hopeful, encouraged, and peaceful. And together, we pulled together a solid list of go-to’s to help one another during challenging moments.
THIS is the power of connection.
Thanks for reading and be sure to bookmark this page or download this handout. Keep it handy to help regulate your nervous system right when you need it most—no perfect conditions required!
